Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
