Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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