I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax