I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?