Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?