Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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