i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities