The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him