Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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