i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Randomize
