Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Never underestimate the power of titties
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
