Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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