wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
