We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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