all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
