one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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