you're like a bully in the Christmas story
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
