It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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