someone get that fucking seahorse.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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