Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
