Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
