If i come over, it means nothing
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
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