It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
