Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
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She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
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I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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