i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
