I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Randomize