There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
