either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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