I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
