EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
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i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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