It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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