i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Randomize
