she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
