what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
We left the knife in your bed.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
