I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I will be naked everywhere
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
