hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
