i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize
