Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
