At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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