you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
