Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
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