sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
