I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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