i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
