I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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