After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Help me help you realize you are a moron
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
