so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
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