..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
You did what with his pubic hair?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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