Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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