think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
