whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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