He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
