you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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