Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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