You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
