he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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