when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize
