porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
don't judge my taste in strippers
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Randomize