I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
