Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
