As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
