it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Randomize
