I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
