can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
